Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
