I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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