Three words: puerto rican gang bang
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
