I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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