can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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