Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
foreskin is a definite game changer
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
