so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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