cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
