A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
