Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
