It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
We need to rekindle our bromance
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
