when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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