come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I forget how to act sober
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
