you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
