I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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