She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
