you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
