the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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