12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
