Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
