i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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