turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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