I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
