The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
