She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
