Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
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