this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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