I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
