Screwed.edu
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
