Grow some girl-balls and come out already
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
