uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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