I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
