Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
