i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize