can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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