Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend