I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.