My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
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Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
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Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?