in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
