I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
