If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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