So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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