So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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