so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
