You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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