then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
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I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
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I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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