I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
