Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
