VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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