I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
