my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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