Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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