it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
