I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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