my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
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i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
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I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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