just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
