Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.