After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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