just come out here and I will go home with you...
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
