I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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