She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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